I murdered the dance floor call the cops
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
40s are totally the cure
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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