i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
