Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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