is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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