You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
