I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
