A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
