I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
