So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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