no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
