Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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