Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
