you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
