So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
