Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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