So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
