mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize