My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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