i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
