After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Send help, water and tortillas.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
