You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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