have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
