he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
