I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
