Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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