so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
