I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sobbing to NWA
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize