he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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