Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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