somebody snuck up and got me drunk
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i believe in u and ur pee
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
