Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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