exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it's like iHOP with fire
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
