Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
