Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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