I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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