Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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