i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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