My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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