***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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