Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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