i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
