I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
