i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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