He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
