would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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