Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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