i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
