I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
