You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
