Pappa wants mamma naked
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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