We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
