1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
