Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
