Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
