This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
