I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
