I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
