u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
