i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
