i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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