Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
