On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
