Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize