This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
