A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
