i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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