look no pants
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
